Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Awesome summary of butt hurt Nolan getting his fat arse thrown in jail in Germany.


Loopy Pete was rightfully jailed in Germany in February 2015. He claims he was a "political prisoner" but, no, he broke the law! Eventually the Loopster fled Germany for a new hide out in Fiji because the Krauts were looking to bang him up again and deport him to Australia, where he faces more jail time.

There was a delicious summary of his whining and butt hurt over on the Kiwi Farms forum, and we quote:


Peter#Andrew$ Nolan {(%^&@)} apparently applied for citizenship in 2008 in the Republic of Ireland, after he had already decided he was a "sovereign man" and subject to no government, and thought they wouldn't notice. When they rejected it (but granted it to his ex-wife and children), he claimed it was because he's male and "exposing the criminality of the government"--not because he had effectively announced that he would obey no laws that didn't please him.

He then began to apply to Germany, in 2009, for the right to immigrate based on his "world passport" and Genesis 1:27 et seq. (Somehow he thinks that "have dominion over fish and birds and animals" translates to "and open borders for all!!!") When they said that was insufficient reason, he sent back a "Claim of Right" which they, very reasonably, ignored. He took this as some sort of default, and proceeded, in 2011, to "overstay his 90-day visa".

He attempts to justify his illegal-immigrant status by claiming to be a political refugee--he's being persecuted by the Irish and Australian governments, dontcha know, and Germany understands what it's like to be under a totalitarian regime because he's just like the Holocaust victims--but again, "Angela Merkel" didn't answer his fan letters, so he had to assume she agreed with him 150%.

He was challenged at customs, and boldly informed them that he admitted it and wanted a court date to provethat nobody was the boss of him had jurisdiction over him. (Because telling your new home nation that you have no intention of paying taxes or obeying their laws is a great way to get them to let you live there.) The guards there at the Stuttgart airport were visibly taken aback by this guy, and invited him to please stop breaking the law. He refused, and went to court.
He tried his "new Holocaust" argument before the court, which went over about as well as you'd expect. The details of the circus event he made of his court date are boring if you're not a lawyer, so suffice to say he proved that a person who represents himself in court has a fool for a lawyer. Two details of note: He travels under his Aussie passport, but insists that he's not a citizen, and he annoyed the judge so much and challenged everything so often that the judge resorted to telling him, "Because I said so" and moving on.

The judge offered him a plea bargain of an 800-euro fine, no permanent record, and no travel ban, at which point he started hollering about jurisdiction again. During a recess, the judge apparently "colluded" with the translator--which I'm pretty sure was the judge asking the translator if this joker was actually understanding what was being said to him and asking him to make sure Boehm fully appreciated the situation. Based on what he said, the judge sentenced him to a 16,000-euro fine thereafter, which I'm assuming was for the continuing contempt of court, or a 20-day jail sentence. When Boehm said he was "vacating" the sentence, the judge told him to get out.
He then remained in Germany and continued harassing the arresting officer for his bond money and "interest", as well as a written apology. When she refused, he then made a public charge of extortion ("affidavit of accusation", whatever the hell that is) on the officer given that she had a gun while she asked him for the bond--and demanded a sentence of restitution of 16,000 euros, payable to him. He then demanded to go back to the corrupt courts to have a trial. This, of course, was declined.

Skip now to October 8, 2014. After an extended campaign of being a pain in the hintern to his gracious host nation (and a detailed description of his most elegant workout ensemble, tres chic), someone rang his doorbell.The call was coming from inside the building, y'all. (Fun fact: He admits here that nobody ever visits him.)

So he makes the classic horror-movie mistake of opening the door without looking through the peephole. It was the cops, and they asked if he was Joschua Boehm. He smarted off and said he was "Joschua Brandon of the Boehm family", which impressed them not at all, and they arrested him in execution of the previous sentence. He told them that removing him from his home was an act of war, and threatened to murder them and their extended families in retaliation.

Now, in many jurisdictions, they'd have capped his ass right there and called it an accident, but apparently Germans are afraid of nothing, so they laughed at this strange little man, called in some bigger dudes, manhandled him, and carted him off to jail, with him screaming all the way that "You can't do this to meeeeee! I'll kill your families!"
So they put him in jail without additional charges for being a complete dumbass, and he tried to get special privileges as a "political prisoner", and more whining and crying...and finally he was released after serving his sentence, with a snazzy beard that actually made him look halfway decent.

But most importantly--so importantly that he put this first in the video--would you like to give him $19 for his time spent in prison? He did it for all men, everywhere, that they might be freed from the law and receive the bountiful mercy of God sovereigninity. It's so easy, just give him your credit-card number...